A belated birthday post

I just had to document the day, even though this entry gets posted two days after.

I've always wanted to celebrate a birthday in a different country. This year I got to do it! It wasn't anything grand. It was enough that I got to spend the whole day with my husband and empower myself in an unfamiliar place by "acquiring" an identity: on this day, I was able to withdraw money from my bank. I also became a member of the public library: I got my very own library card, was able to check out a few items, and reserve another bunch!

It was really more symbolic than anything else. I guess it was my way of asserting my existence. Away from the familiar, devoid of the usual, taken-for-granted security among family and friends, this was my way of conquering the impending loneliness and homesickness, which was threatening to take over the day before. In Manila, one would dread responding to text and birthday greetings for the sheer number of them coming in (that day I received lots of text messages and FB greetings from people who mattered to me); or, we'd try to escape groups of people who we think might be expecting you to throw a little party with a box pizza or a bucket of chicken.

Here, I was fascinated to realize that, no one I knew was going to go through the trouble of asking, kelan ang kainan at inuman? I wouldn't bump into anyone in the street who would remember it was my birthday. A couple of times I was hoping the librarians would put two and two together and realize that my birth date on my library application form was the same day as my membership day. I actually fantasized one of them would call out to the people in the library and they'd all jump up and wish me a happy birthday. All I wanted was someone to acknowledge me. But they didn't.

If it wasn't for Benc, I'd be celebrating by myself. Literally. But because I was with him, it was more than enough. He bought a bottle of wine, cheese, and grapes and we stayed up and drank at 12 midnight on May 14. In the afternoon we had brunch of yummy yiros and chips at the Central Market, then watched Angels and Demons, talked about life over a cup of coffee and handfuls of chocolate-covered fruits and nuts, then snuggled against the settling cold. It was a good day, and I claimed it. It was a way of reinforcing my presence for another year and toasting a previous one well-spent.