Blue

I'm hoping it's just the hormones.

I've not been feeling a hundred percent lately. I've been tired, a little melancholy. There are times when I'm really masungit for no reason. A few times I've been cross with Benc. Poor guy. He just takes it, and continues to love me.

I've been criticizing myself more than usual. Everything seems wrong. Little mistakes are a big issue with me. I'm feeling extremely sensitive and I find myself sighing deeply quite often. I don't feel like working, and I just want to travel somewhere far away to rest my mind.

I was hoping to enjoy my alone time, and I did. However briefly. But now I wish I wasn't. I feel abandoned and ignored.

I feel like something great was supposed to happen but I missed it. Or, I wasn't invited to the big event when everyone else was.

It's all in my head isn't it? I know it is, but I can't help feeling a little blue. So much so that I just blew a sizeable amount on some impulse buys. But they're empty purchases. They made me forget for a while but now here I go again. I don't know whether to flog myself or just grin and bear the consequences.

Like I have a choice, right?

I just hope this passes. I hate when I get like this. I'm just willing myself to see the reason behind these feelings so I can feel better. Very soon.