One Milestone at a Time

With a sore back, aching shoulders and arms and a worsening case of wrist RSI, I have printed my latest (count it: 10th!) thesis revision. From a modest 95 pages, it has now ballooned to over 150 pages (152, without transcripts). I'm resting after 4.5 hours of sleep. Later this afternoon I will hie off to the UP Shopping Center to have it photocopied and bound for submission to my adviser and thesis critic tomorrow.

One step at a time, I keep thinking. Every milestone, big or small, is also one step closer to Adelaide. As days are shaved off the calendar, it heightens the anticipation and the motivation to get things done as soon as possible. I can't wait to pack up and get on the plane and be with Benc.

There's so much I want to leave behind right now, and I am anxious to start anew. I think it helps not only me, but everyone else who has been depending on me to be strong, to provide, to resolve issues. I was ok with those roles in the beginning but pretty soon it took so much away, almost to the point where there was nothing left for me. It's difficult to climb a mountain with only two slices of bread for breakfast.

I want to focus on what I really want this time. I want to be able to go after what makes me happy and not have to think about what other people will say or think. I feel this is my chance. I want to focus on my marriage and the goal of starting a family, travelling the world, seeing new things and learning from these. So it's really more than just the heart-wrenching longing for the man I love and married. It's the fulfillment of a quest to get back to ME.

So, I go through the days, achieving one milestone at a time, and I find time goes so much faster that way. I can't wait to tie up all the lose ends. Adelaide is calling, and the dream is waiting to be lived.