Happy 2005

2005 has arrived!

Sometimes I still find it bizarre that I am writing the years with all these curves and round strokes. I never thought it would come, this "future", the way all these writers and scientists would refer to it. Like it was some alien, unimaginable place in time only few of us--or them--will ever experience.

This year is my thirtieth year in the world. It's a good time to assess and think about the things I've done--like I don't do that everyday already. It's also the perfect time to figure out what else I could do, for myself and the rest of humankind. It's a good time to take stock of the most meaningful things, thoughts, endeavors and people, and decide to stick to those that only do you any good. And if you can do them any good in return.

Sometimes really I wonder if I am where I am supposed to be. Actually I worry. I worry if I am right in wanting to switch careers now. Am I taking the right masteral course? Am I right in wanting to get married? Is it a good decision to move out now (if not now, when?). Is it wise to stay here and wait or should I go abroad and move on, try my luck there? SHould I still be having appearance issues? Should I start thinking about diabetes and osteoporosis and cancer?
THen again, will we ever really know?

I should consider myself VERY LUCKY that I was in the Philippines when the tsunami happened, that I was in Manila when the big storm hit northern Luzon, that I was asleep in bed when the firecracker factory blew up early this morning in Bulacan. I guess you are where you are, and you just have to find the good in it and make the most of it.

You have to BE the "good" in these things. Maybe. Then perhaps the good things will happen and you'll know then if you are where you are indeed supposed to be.

:) That's one important thing to learn this year. That nothing is permanent, and nothing is sure, and most things aren't always real. The only real thing is what YOU make happen. The only real thing is YOU. The one person you can only really ever trust is YOU. YOU make things work for YOU. YOU are your own inspiration and success story and love story and survivor and warrior and hero. Change will come sweeping everything like a great big wave. YOU will have only yourself to cling to and to deal with when the tides recede. And when YOU decide YOU can survive on your own, YOU know YOU too have arrived!

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I wonder what 2005 will have in store for me. Already I am a bit sad because I was hoping for something romantic to happen when I wake up to breakfast later this morning. But I just got a call saying it may not push through. And I will have to wait til Sunday. I was originally something would come to pass before 2004 ended. It didn't. So I was hoping it would happen at this breakfast date. Oh well. :)