Marriage vs Friendship

Question: Should I feel bad when my best friend thinks I am no longer available to her as a friend just because I am married?

Of course the phrase "available as a friend" might sound too strong but that's how it feels eh. It felt that way especially when, after seeing one of our kabarkadas off at the airport last weekend after a quick trip to Manila, she texted me to say, "[Our friend] boarded the plane na and is on her way. Malulungkot nanaman ako." I asked her, why? Because [our friend] left na? And she says something like, yeah, wala nanaman akong kasama...or something like that. And then she follows up with, a sentence saying if she loses her sanity from loneliness, she'll ask me to fly to where our friend is.

Hmmmm.

I don't know about you, but, I felt bad when I read that. Just because I'm married doesn't mean I can't do ALL the things I used to do as a single woman. Granted, maybe I can't just up and leave and go clubbing at the drop of a hat, but I sure as hell can still be someone's best friend.

It was as if she was saying, she lost me, and now she'll turn to someone else. Is it my fault she feels that way? Should married life necessarily be seen as a fortress? Should it be treated as a shackle? Maybe some people do see it that way, and it pains me to realize that I have friends who do.

I visited Ana's blog recently and she put it so well:

i don't want to grow old like my parents and their generation whose world only revolves around their family. those who abandon their old life just because they got married. i don't want to be obsessing about my kids all the time and planning themed birthday parties every year like it was my wedding all over again.

I don't want to make being married a reason for abandoning my old life because I have no plans of doing so. And why should I? Marriage came along when I had already been living my life for three decades on this planet. Some things may change, but it doesn't necessarily mean I am going to give everything up.

I hope my friends realize that. But if they think they have to give me up, then that's probably going to be one of the biggest changes I will have to face.