My Place

What does it take to return to yourself?

It's been nearly two years. It's funny that it was someone else who mentioned the phrase for me: everything's falling into place. It was a phrase I would often tell myself to console the lost little girl I had become. I tried to believe it, only to be disappointed that things didn't fall into their rightful places. Instead eveything was a mess, everything was scattered. Nothing was right at all. In fact things got worse.

It's been nearly two years. I've been trying to get well. Sometimes I think I am and other times I collapse with the realization that I am not. There are moments when I want revenge and there are times when I feel resigned. Right now I just feel dizzy, and a little exhausted. I am, in truth, still reeling from those words: everything's falling into place. Finally. Duh! It's funny that it should come from a person I perceived was keeping things from falling into place for me.

Now things are working, or so Person says. And something in my head and in the dark recesses of my heart was calling out to me: they should for you too. Let go and be at peace. Pick up the pieces now, it's time. You can leave that all behind now. Your heart can rest. Your mind can breathe. You can return to you.

Where do I start? I don't find that a scary question anymore. In the beginning it seemed so daunting. Now I find it can be a joyful task. It's journey a back, not a journey away.

Just like what a friend once said: sometimes you have to be apart to be together. And I guess I had to be away from myself to find me again. So I'm together again. :D