The Chickenpox Journals - Day 2

After much hedging, I decided to give in and come home to my mom’s. We were torn on whether to have myself confined in the hospital or to manage it at home. As we analyzed it over lunch, I made the decision my self: I didn’t want the hassle of traveling all the way there and waiting for a doctor to tell me to go home because I looked healthy enough to handle it. I didn’t want people looking at me strangely when they overhear the doctor say so. (In a way hearing myself say that made me proud of myself. I could hear myself determined to get well. And deep inside, I knew it wouldn’t take long.)

So after lunch, I brought my bags and allowed Squeak to take me home. I felt my heart drop as I said goodbye to Benc, who did all in his power to make me comfortable and sane through last night. I couldn’t even kiss or hug him. I know he had the pox before but I didn’t want to risk him getting a relapse, having just gotten well from colds.

The drive home was ok, it wasn’t at all uncomfortable. I just tried to take my mind off the itchiness and pain. It was—and still is a bit difficult for me to sit. But I’m hoping that with all the chemicals I’m pumping into my body, the virus will dry up faster than normal and leave. Aciclovir, the only drug known to treat the varicella virus is one of the most expensive medicines I’ve had to take. Although my mom says the effects are obvious (sores aren’t as inflamed, etc.) I think I’m feeling the side effects more. I have palpitations, a constant headache, I feel like I have a fever inside.

Actually, I feel dehydrated, but I don’t know if I am. Though some of the symptoms are there: cramping, the headache, parched lips, cramps. The medical notes say that the drug can even cause nausea and vomiting. So far, it hasn’t happened. I just do what the good doctor said: because it’s a strong drug, the liver will be working extra hard. So I have to help me liver by drinking lots of fluids and allowing myself to go to the bathroom as often as my body needs to. So I’m drinking up lots of water and juices. Go, LIVER, GO!

My room here looks so pristinely clean…is that right? It looks immaculate. It feels so sanitized. The sheets are new, my walls are white again, the floor’s brown again (and not ash-white from the dust that’s been there for so long) and the gentle afternoon sun streaming through my curtained windows (curtains! How lovely!) give me comfort and respite from the pain.

The gentle wind is refreshing, not at all stale like the way my unit gets sometimes. Sigh. It was a good decision to come home, although my heart is crying out for Bubba to be here. But I know things will be ok. I am looking forward to talking with my siblings over dinner tonight, like old times. And maybe in that, I will find yet another balm to relieve my aches.